Go With The Flow

We all know the phrase “go with the flow.”

Most of us have said it, and most of us have been told it.

But what does it actually mean, especially during the holidays when everything feels rushed and tense?

The first direct question is this:

Has stressing your way through something ever made it turn out better in a meaningful way?

Lao Tzu’s teaching on wu wei offers another approach. It means acting in a way that fits what is already happening instead of forcing or resisting.

Alan Watts described something similar with the idea of a “controlled accident.”

We still make choices, but we give situations room to unfold. We respond instead of tightening our grip on every detail.

Most holiday chaos is outside our control.

What we can influence is how we move within it.

Each of us has a natural way of operating. Your body has specific sleep needs. It responds differently to different foods. It functions best at a pace that is unique to you. Honoring this ‘way’ is part of going with the flow.

Ways I’ve Found Helpful for Staying in the Flow

(Try experimenting with one or more of these yourself).

1. Pause before acting

I take a breath before beginning any task.

It helps me see what is already happening so I can make a choice that fits the moment instead of fighting it.

2. Lower the pressure on expectations

Simplifying meals, plans, or schedules has never made the holidays worse.

It removes strain and makes space for what actually matters.

I experienced this firsthand on Thanksgiving. My sister was staying with us, and I had planned a somewhat traditional meal. When Thursday arrived, I felt completely out of balance. I was tired and overwhelmed by the activity of the week.

I called Larry and Gail into the living room and asked if they would be open to changing the plan. My body and mind needed rest, which meant setting aside the idea of cooking a big meal. Because we are a close group and respect each other’s way of being, they agreed without hesitation.

We set the whole plan aside and let the day unfold on its own. Each of us took the time we needed for rest and restoration. Around 4 p.m., an idea came to me that I never would have considered if I had forced the original plan. We went to the local hospital cafeteria. We were the only non-staff eating there, and we enjoyed a full, delicious meal for ten dollars each.

We likely never would have planned something like this, but by honoring the flow of the day, we had a wonderful, unexpected experience.

3. Follow natural timing

Some things move easily when the conditions are right.

When a task feels forced, I set it aside and return later.

It almost always goes better that way.

4. Buy with intention

Before spending, I pause and ask whether the decision is coming from urgency or from clarity.

This keeps me grounded and prevents reactive choices.

5. Move at my real pace

I stay within what my body and mind can handle.

I don’t match anyone else’s speed.

This has reduced unnecessary stress more than anything else.

The holidays will still be full and unpredictable, but we don’t have to add strain to what is already happening.

We can notice what is in front of us, respond to it, and move in ways that align with our own natural rhythm.

This is what it actually means to go with the flow.

May you flow with your own way of being this holiday season. You may find it to be the best gift you receive!

Jan💕